Shes got the kind of look that defies gravity
Shes the greatest cook
And shes fat free

Shes been to private school
And she speaks perfect French
She���s got the perfect friends
Oh isn���t she cool

She practices Tai Chi
She'd never lose her nerve
She's more than you deserve
She's just far better than me

So dont bother
I wont die of deception
I promise you wont ever see me cry
Dont feel sorry

And don't bother
Ill be fine
But shes waiting
The ring you gave to her will lose its shine
So dont bother, be unkind

Im sure she doesnt know
How to touch you like I would
I beat her at that one good
Dont you think so?

She's almost six feet tall
She must think I'm a flea
Im really a cat you see
And it's not my last life at all

So don't bother
I won't die of deception
I promise you won't ever see me cry
Don't feel sorry

Don't bother
Ill be fine
But she's waiting
The ring you gave to her will lose its shine
So dont bother, be unkind

***FOR YOU, I'd give up all I own
And move to a communist country
If you came WITH ME, of course
And I'd file my nails so they don't hurt you
And lose those pounds, and learn about FOOTBALL
If it MADE YOU STAY, but you won't, but you won't***...

So don't bother,
I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine
Promise you won't ever see me cry

And after all I'm glad that I'm not your type
Promise you won't ever see me cry...